Monday, November 08, 2004

one of these things first

I don't know I can possibly expect anybody to understand me when I can't even understand myself. I love too fast and get let down too easily. It's a personality flaw - this love-'em-and-drop-'em routine - and not with lovers - with friends, with bands, with tv shows - I don't know what's wrong with me. I guess there's just so much to love - and I want to love it all completely while I can - and then I realize maybe I overloved it.

I wam walking the neighborhood street walk boogie and the leaves flip flop leaving self-portraits where they pass. I see proof of living and maybe the world can still be loved. It is raining and it is pouring and my old man is snoring. He looks so sweet when he's all out cold and I feel I can love him and that maybe my conscience will approve someday. I walk in the room to be greeted by my cat and in her black-lipped mouth is a little blackish rat and I know that she loves me and that all is not lost.

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