So, you were right. Thinking the world is full of evil and violence and nothing else - and talking about it seriously and fiercely - it's depressing. I find that, growing up with no politics in the house at all, my opinions in these areas are far from well-informed, more like a child's conception of what it's like to be a grown-up. So more frustrating than my inability to be able to argue anything effectively or have the energy to try to argue anything effectively, is having to listen to my mother, her voice suddenly hard and bitter with frightening conviction, tell me that she has no need for the real world, a world filled with unending hate and violence. This bitterness is scary, it's unlike her, and more than anything I feel that she is unjustified, since she never talked to me about politics and the World, in General, and doesn't seem to know any more than me about the World, in General, than what pops up on her welcome screen when she checks her email, to argue so strongly on the subject.

I find myself frantically scrambling for rebuttals to her statements and I find, pleasantly, that they come easily. But there is so much good, I say. There is so much bad, but so much good. And the real world for you, mother, is full of good. And for me, it's full of good. And for the last couple years, it is filled to the brim with so much good that I really can't believe that I can say, fiercely, much like you, that I would rather be nobody else and that I am content, relaxed, willing to pursue this little life I'm living. So much of life is so good - so many things add up to made a life 'good' - why not just concentrate on those?

What do they call us? The kids who were born in the mid-80s, but who were a bit too young to say we were part of the 80s culture but distinctly remember the shows and toys of the early 90s? Television, no matter how adamant you are about how it is ruining society, children, the world, blah blah blah, is here to stay and it is a major, if not one of the biggest, measuring utensils of pop culture. It creates instant conversation. Because everybody is happy to talk about their childhood. Everybody lights up when you mention a TV show they used to watch. TRY IT. I'm pretty sure even the laaamest looking people will feel something. Unless, for instance, the kids who missed out on TV when they were little who feel nothing when I type (and, to be clear, it's not their fault: I'm sure they have maaaaany other things to talk about..): Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Inspector Gadget, TaleSpin, Dinosaurs, Tiny Toons, Rocko's Modern Life, Chip 'N Dale Rescue Rangers, Alex Mack, Hey Dude!, Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?, Pete & Pete, Clarissa Explains it All, G.U.T.S., and my personal favorite kiddy gameshow: Legends of the Hidden Temple.

My brother and I recently discovered we were finally getting Nickolodeon GaS (Games and Sports) on our digital cable and with that came days of nothing but G.U.T.S., Legends, Double Dare, and a couple other really lame game shows that we never watched. When I last watched these shows, really watched them, I think I was still fantasizing about what path I'd take in the temple and debating with my brother whether I'd want to go into the temple first (and risk getting scared twice by those facepainted temple guards, especially if they were hiding in the tree and wrapped their branch-arms around you) or second. I think I thought that the Agro Crag was still pretty impressive and that I'd have a hard time getting up the "LIVING BREATHING MOUNTAIN" (today my brother and I searched for 'agro crag' on Ebay. No kids are selling it....YET.) It's a little like Disneyland, when you start to see the ceilings and you realize that the rain in the Tiki Room is made of mylar string and effective strobe lights. Except Disneyland is expertly made, and these are crappy TV shows.

If you want me to demonstrate how crappy and low-budget these shows are, take one of today's episodes of 'Legends.' The show (if you were one of those deprived early 90s children), starts off with six teams and after the first challenge (crossing the MOAT) only four teams are left. Today, the two teams that were out first received a few of these as their consolation prize:
CANS OF TUNA. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS. 'WE GOT SPONSORSHIP FROM CHICKEN OF THE SEA!!' YES, GREAT, CONSOLATION PRIZES!! 'BUT DOUBLE DARE IS GIVING OUT COMPUTER GAMES!' 'NO, WE TRIED THAT ALREADY. WE GOT THE TUNA THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH.'

This is really the entire punch line of this post - the entire reason for it to exist. But, as I thought about the tuna (and the look on the kids faces as they returned to their parents in the audience with their hands full of cans of tuna), I thought about how deliriously happy I am to watch these old episodes of the over-dramatic G.U.T.S. and recycled challenges of 'Legends' (including knocking down a lot of cardboard cutouts), and not much brings back the unbridled joy of childhood nostalgia like these do. What makes this really special, however, is the fact that I can share it with my little brother, who, six years younger than me, would never have come across them on his own, but because I was there watching them, he gets just as giddy as me. I remember several times when we created our own temple in our empty living room...with chairs, boxes, whatever we could find, and for five inspired minutes, I want to do it all over again. Get the cardboard and we can make ancient Inca warrior cardboard cutouts and we can hang you in a potato sack over that stair railing and I can push you and make you knock over those Inca warriors. But then I realize it's noon and I'm still in fleece pants and my hair is dirty and really, I don't want to crawl through things anymore. But we came *that* close.

My brother scored two goals today in his soccer tournament. I beat four Zoo Tycoon scenarios. My mom took me shopping for new bras and new shoes, also scrapbook materials, and I don't 'do' scrapbooks. Summer has morphed into something completely separate from what it used to be. Summer used to be either more fun, more ice skating, or more work. This time, and in a sense, last time, summer is now more waiting. Lots of people I know haven't spent more than a coupel weeks at their 'hometown' houses for a few years now. This still feels like home when I get here - probably because my little brother is keeping it in tact. And I will never be here, at my desk, waiting to get tired at 12:38am, waiting to hit the road to go back to school, ever again.

My life: Super Donkey Kong, on Super Nintendo Famicom.

I suppose I also did a little travelling, lots of highway driving all around SoCal, a jaunt down to San Diego and Tijuana, and a few days at Disneyland, but right now all I can concentrate on is beating Super Donkey Kong.