More than I love the fact that I have been deaf in my left ear for the last five days, more than I love my new European dresses, more than I love the fabulous weekend I just spent in Utah with my old girl-friends, is my little brother who left four ridiculous notes in places around my room while I was gone.

"Sheep man was here" tacked onto my window (referring to 'The Twilight Zone' episode with William "There's a man out there!" Shatner).

"'Next up Peter Griffin and Brain.' Well, we're off to a great start" referring to a recent episode of 'Family Guy' and my brother Brian's frighteningly common problem tacked onto the back of one of my dresses in my closet.

"Talk about MY big poops. Speak for yourself" on my sheets when I pulled back my covers.

"You aren't here to read a note under your pillow" under my pillow.

This all stems from some Disney Channel segment we saw several years ago where the stars of the Disney Channel talk about their feelings and other important things like how much they like to read and all the issues that the 12-year old stars have with romance. In this particular segment, one of them was speaking about her sister and how if either of them had anything serious they needed to talk about they would stick notes under each others pillows. Often Brian and I would refer to sticking notes under each others pillows, but this marks the first summer we actually left them there.

Being deaf in my left ear makes me feel strangely imcompetent in all other areas of life. Not only can I not hear and I think I've uttered 'What?' more than I did all of last year (and that is not a small number), I also have problems registering my surroundings when I look around, spelling, forming complete sentences, and ordering food at counters.

If you ever want to be overrun by bandits,
To hand over all your things and start over new,
While we were out hunting for food, our house being robbed,
I caught an apple and she caught a fox,
Then I caught a rabbit but she caught an ox.
So we turned and found everything gone,
Which for us wasn't a loss
We started over with a rabbit and an ox.
- Midlake

My life, post-London, begins with eating out a lot because my mom is too lazy to cook and now that I don't have to, I am too. It begins with cleaning out closet space, cleaning out space, realizing that this is the last summer I'll be home for any lengthy amount of time, and even this summer, it totals only a month. California begins finally with a short road trip with my little brother, him playing gameboy while I'm exclaiming, Oh look Brian, look how pretty the sun is over there, look at how gorgeous those mountains are, because I've got to say these things out loud to remember, or to discover, that I am happy to be here, in a car, in the middle of nowhere, instead of over there, on my feet, in the middle of a living, breathing, always moving, city of the world.