fake plastic trees

Did I really open up my iTunes this beautiful February morning and start playing my 'blue' playlist? Blue as in 'blue, blue, my world is blue, blue is my world now i'm without you.'

I did and as much as I want to be one of those strong girls who don't despise Valentine's Day (because that would only show a weakness even stronger than admitting to being sad and lonely on this day) nor feel depressed and lonely on it (so cliche), I can't really pretend that this particular day doesn't pour salt on any sort of wounds of loneliness or lovesickness. It's impossible to pretend.

My life is at a stand still. I have no particular immediate goals nor stressful ideals to work towards. Am I wasting my time? Are we all wasting our time? Oh, making 20 valentine's was good fun last night - being stressed out about making them. Today, I will be hoping for valentine's in my post office box and hopefully I will see somebody walking around with one that I made for them. Then today will have accomplished something - but we've still got the next several months, years, of perhaps aimless wandering.

'it goes like this, the fourth the fifth, the minor fall, the major lift, the baffled king composing hallelujah.'

Don't let me be lonely today. I just want to make somebody's heart flutter.