I, of course, made my farewell post too soon. I, of course, have 20minutes before the crappy New Years shows come on - do we pick Carson, Seacrest, or Dick? - and 20minutes before Apples to Apples with the family. An hour and 20minutes before I can hit the champagne. But here's something I did in 2005: I am now crazy. I just realized this: Have I finally loved right, the way it's supposed to be done?

Alternated today between ecstatic and grumpy. Alternated today between yelling at my kittens and speaking coochiecoo to them. Alternated today about National-Rail-Woes and Day-Travelcard-Highs. Alternated today between nasty stomachs and happy steamed carrot consumption by fingers. Laid out all my clothing and imagined what I'd wear to the theater, what I'd wear on walks in the park, what I'd wear to rock shows at Lock17. Found out I had plenty of funds to fund fun.

I started a book yesterday. 'The Autograph Man' by Zadie Smith. Got through only 20 pages. Maybe I will spend all night and all day reading it. My brother and I will start the New Year with a Midnight Game of Magic, so that the first thing I do next year is be a nerd with my brother. Tasty.

i don't need a crowded ballroom / everything i want is here / if you're with me / next year will be / the perfect year - sunsetblvd