What do they call us? The kids who were born in the mid-80s, but who were a bit too young to say we were part of the 80s culture but distinctly remember the shows and toys of the early 90s? Television, no matter how adamant you are about how it is ruining society, children, the world, blah blah blah, is here to stay and it is a major, if not one of the biggest, measuring utensils of pop culture. It creates instant conversation. Because everybody is happy to talk about their childhood. Everybody lights up when you mention a TV show they used to watch. TRY IT. I'm pretty sure even the laaamest looking people will feel something. Unless, for instance, the kids who missed out on TV when they were little who feel nothing when I type (and, to be clear, it's not their fault: I'm sure they have maaaaany other things to talk about..): Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Inspector Gadget, TaleSpin, Dinosaurs, Tiny Toons, Rocko's Modern Life, Chip 'N Dale Rescue Rangers, Alex Mack, Hey Dude!, Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?, Pete & Pete, Clarissa Explains it All, G.U.T.S., and my personal favorite kiddy gameshow: Legends of the Hidden Temple.

My brother and I recently discovered we were finally getting Nickolodeon GaS (Games and Sports) on our digital cable and with that came days of nothing but G.U.T.S., Legends, Double Dare, and a couple other really lame game shows that we never watched. When I last watched these shows, really watched them, I think I was still fantasizing about what path I'd take in the temple and debating with my brother whether I'd want to go into the temple first (and risk getting scared twice by those facepainted temple guards, especially if they were hiding in the tree and wrapped their branch-arms around you) or second. I think I thought that the Agro Crag was still pretty impressive and that I'd have a hard time getting up the "LIVING BREATHING MOUNTAIN" (today my brother and I searched for 'agro crag' on Ebay. No kids are selling it....YET.) It's a little like Disneyland, when you start to see the ceilings and you realize that the rain in the Tiki Room is made of mylar string and effective strobe lights. Except Disneyland is expertly made, and these are crappy TV shows.

If you want me to demonstrate how crappy and low-budget these shows are, take one of today's episodes of 'Legends.' The show (if you were one of those deprived early 90s children), starts off with six teams and after the first challenge (crossing the MOAT) only four teams are left. Today, the two teams that were out first received a few of these as their consolation prize:
CANS OF TUNA. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS. 'WE GOT SPONSORSHIP FROM CHICKEN OF THE SEA!!' YES, GREAT, CONSOLATION PRIZES!! 'BUT DOUBLE DARE IS GIVING OUT COMPUTER GAMES!' 'NO, WE TRIED THAT ALREADY. WE GOT THE TUNA THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH.'

This is really the entire punch line of this post - the entire reason for it to exist. But, as I thought about the tuna (and the look on the kids faces as they returned to their parents in the audience with their hands full of cans of tuna), I thought about how deliriously happy I am to watch these old episodes of the over-dramatic G.U.T.S. and recycled challenges of 'Legends' (including knocking down a lot of cardboard cutouts), and not much brings back the unbridled joy of childhood nostalgia like these do. What makes this really special, however, is the fact that I can share it with my little brother, who, six years younger than me, would never have come across them on his own, but because I was there watching them, he gets just as giddy as me. I remember several times when we created our own temple in our empty living room...with chairs, boxes, whatever we could find, and for five inspired minutes, I want to do it all over again. Get the cardboard and we can make ancient Inca warrior cardboard cutouts and we can hang you in a potato sack over that stair railing and I can push you and make you knock over those Inca warriors. But then I realize it's noon and I'm still in fleece pants and my hair is dirty and really, I don't want to crawl through things anymore. But we came *that* close.